Tuesday, June 17, 2008

115 East Sheridan Court, Waukegan, IL. Home. We made it!

The past four days have been a blur: one 37 hour “day”; a 5 hour weather related flight delay @ the Beijing Airport (3 and ½ sitting in the plane at the gate); family and friends anxiously waiting for us to exit US Customs via A doors…we exit via B doors; tears and hugs and kisses; 7-cheese lasagna, potato and egg strata, taco casserole in the refrigerator; Father’s Day spent at an acute care center(Daddy’s turn for antibiotics); Ellie adjusting to a strange and unfamiliar environment…her bedroom and bathroom, a high-chair and dining room, two cats named Kirby and Max.

During our lay-over in Beijing on Friday, June 13, all of us tired, anxious and hungry, we found a quiet corner table at the On the Border Bistro. The name of the place got me thinking about Taco’s El Norte, our favorite Mexican restaurant in Waukegan; a chicken quesadilla and margarita would be a great pre-flight lunch. As with so much of international travel, translation and execution of translation is everything; the On the Border Bistro is an Italian Panini sandwich place.

Our orders in, Ellie munched on a few Cheerio’s, Caroline braved the House Cabernet, and I nursed a Tsing Tao (a popular Chinese beer). Watching Ellie attempt to get the Cheerio’s balled up in her little fist to her mouth, I said to Caroline, “We made it through the day’s tough sledding.” As she acknowledged my comment and as I was formulating my next statement, I was suddenly overcome with a wave of emotion and through the tears came, “In a few hours, we’ll take our daughter home.”

And so we have. My heart was filled with indescribable joy as I watched Caroline, tears trickling down her cheeks, Ellie clinging to her side; push her luggage cart through the B doors of US Customs at the International Terminal of O’Hare airport looking for our homecoming entourage. Watching our family and friends meet Ellie for the first time, it suddenly hit me that this was a homecoming for only two of us. For one, a 10 month old, formerly named Bo Tong, going through the B doors was a life changing moment the likes of which she may never experience again. For Elizabeth (Ellie) Bo Satre, Friday, June 13 was much like the lyrics to one of my favorite U2 songs...Sort of A Homecoming…
Tonight we'll build a bridge
Across the sea and land
See the sky, the burning rain
She will die and live again

Tonight

And your heart beats so slow
Through the rain and fallen snow
Across the fields of mourning
Light's in the distance
Oh don't sorrow, no don't weep
For tonight, at last
I am coming home
I am coming home

Across sea and land she has come…
Her abandonment has died…
She will grow in newness of life…

So tonight, dear Ellie…
Oh don’t sorrow, no don’t weep…
For at last...
Forever and always you are home.

(Author’s Note: On June 4, 2005, I began journaling to Ellie. My goal was to journal something everyday from June 4, 2005 to “Gotcha Day.” As with much of my goal setting, I tend to overreach! My last entry was January 17, 2006; the day we received our official log-in date of January 6, 2006. To help chronicle our fears and anxieties, our hopes and dreams, from time to time I will post snippets from that journal that I’ll call Notes to Little One.)

Notes to Little One: June 4, 2005
Greetings little one! Today began a new path in life’s journey for us. Today at 9:00 a.m. Caroline and I turned in our application for adoption through Children’s Hope International. We are so very excited! And scared! Scared not of you, but scared of ourselves and the thought that soon there will be three of us. Just the same, this is a life changing day for us.

It was kind of funny. After we got home from the Children’s Hope International informational meeting, we both went to work…by the way; we’re both pastors at St. Paul’s Lutheran Church. Once in my study, I fired up the computer to check my email. There I found an email from Sunny. Sunny is a woman for helped us by reproductions of antique Chinese furniture. Sunny had emailed to inform us that the four pieces of furniture we’d ordered were finished and would soon be shipping from Beijing. Yes! We’ve already been to your country of origin! We traveled in your homeland from March 28, 2005 to April 13, 2005. It was awesome! Anyway, I thought it was serendipitous that on the day we turned in our adoption application, we got an email from Sunny in Beijing. More to come. Love, Brad

Final Day in Guangzhou

June 12, 2008

Yesterday was bittersweet.

We began with a trip to an amusement park in downtown Guangzhou. The rides were geared for children and was just right of babies, toddlers, and elementary age children in our group. We started with a tram ride that gave a bird's eye view of the park.

After the tram ride, Ellie and Mommy rode the water ride that had squirt cannons for shooting sharks and other monsters of the deep. As you can see, Mommy was into it! Ellie on the other hand, not so much.

We made our way to the area of the park that had the classic "nickel" rides: pandas, Santa's sleigh, rocket ships, trains, pony express pony and the like. We thought Ellie would enjoy the fighter plane-space shuttle-ish one. As you can see by her expression, Mommy and Daddy were way off!

After lunch and a nap we joined the other 18 families for a trip to the office of the ACS, American Citizenship Service. Located in the new developments on the west side of Guangzhou, the ACS office is the final stop for all infants adopted out of China who are going home to the United States. After presenting passports, checking Ellie's Visa and other documents needed for her to enter the country, we said, "I do" to the oath that was spoken and it's all official. Ellie is stuck with us! When we touch down at O'Hare, she will be a citizen of the United States; her Chinese passport will be a trip memento.

The four families we spent the most time with all met for dinner at the Grill Room of the Swan Hotel; an all you can eat buffet of grilled meat, seafood and vegetables (and also a wine pairing!). We sat overlooking the Pearl River from 6:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Slowly, one by one, Ellie's orphanage mates headed off to bed and Mommies and Daddies, once strangers, now more than friends, began to say their good-byes. We all did a pretty good job of not crying, but it was close! Macy's older twin sisters, Madison and Megan beamed when they heard that we would all see each other again at reunions. As I told them on the day we first met, when we talked about how cool it is that all our babies are from the same orphanage and share the same surname, 'Bo', "we're related!"

And we are. In a manner not of biology and DNA...not of religion, race or creed...not of socio-economic standing or political persuasion. We are related with a bond of having been blessed beyond measure with daughters whose life journey began in abandonment and institutionalization. We are related by a bond of having been on an unbelievable journey, traveling to Jiangxi Provence, flashing our passports at an adoption official and being handed our daughters, each of whom, miraculously mirrors the flavor and personality of their parents. Most importantly, we will always be related in the truth that our joy has been made complete through a lifetime of love and laughter our daughters give to us unconditionally. I pray that we, their parents, will always to the same.

See you tomorrow.

Quote of the Day: Last evening at dinner, Ella's daddy says to her, "I don't know where you put all this food. You must have a wooden leg." At this, Ellie's mommy, aka Caroline, says, "that would be a hollow leg." To which Ella's daddy say, "Yeah, that what I meant...a wooden, HOLLOW, leg."

June 10, 2008

Today began with a leisurely breakfast: Ellie had scrambled eggs and conge; Caroline had yogurt and French toast; I had dim sum, fried noodles, dumplings (pot stickers), fish balls, pastries and multi-grain bread (I only went through the buffet line once!). Ellie is a good eater. She hasn’t refused anything that’s put in front of her. She so wants to feed herself, but she has yet to figure out the mechanics of getting the Cheerios in her fingers into her mouth.

Our hungers satisfied we left the hotel to pick up our laundry and do a bit of shopping, both of which we did at the same store. One of the interesting cultural nuances of the shops that surround the hotel is that they all offer laundry service and free use of strollers. When you think about it, that’s rather clever marketing; just get the people and especially new adoptive parents into the store.

The shopping adventure complete we made our way back to the hotel and our room. From 10:00 to 11:00 a.m. we needed to stay in our rooms. Today we had our meeting with the US Consulate General, that is to say, Elsie our CHI in-country guide and host had a meeting with the appropriate person(s) to review all our visa and passport documents for Ellie. The last thing Elsie told our group last night was, “No phone call from the Consulate General is preferred. So hope that I don’t call you.”

She didn’t, so we went swimming. Ellie was moderately excited about being pool side.

Today was also picture day. It was quite a spectacle! All six of the girls who came from the same orphanage each had on a traditional Chinese dress and cute shoes. Let’s just say that they were all less than thrilled; the photos say it all. (FYI: here are the names of the girls reading from left to right…Gianna Cai, Macy Bo, Emily Browne, Emmaline Maio, Ellie Bo, and Ella Wei.)


The day ended with the farewell dinner. After tomorrow, most of our group is heading home. It’s hard to believe that it’s all coming to an end. It’s harder still to believe how attached to one another we’ve all become. I really do love these people and their daughters…they are in a sense, Ellie’s sisters.









(Who’s Who: working from left to right…Eric, Jacinda, and Emmaline; Edson, Macy and Megan; Ellie and us; Kerri and Madison [Edson and Kerri are married and have twins, Madison and Megan]; Wendy, ella and Brian)

18.7 Pounds

Monday, June 09, 2008

This morning was medical exam day. At 9:00 a.m., all 18 CHI families walked to the Physical Examination Building (really, that’s what the sign over the door said!). Once inside, all were packed into a small waiting area with three adjoining room: 1) Height and Weight; 2) ENT; 3) Medical and Surgical. Child specific medical forms were passed out and after a brief introduction all parents and children went to each of the three rooms for examination. Our first stop was the ENT; Ellie passed. Then we went to the Height and Weight room. Ellie is 28 ½” tall and we’re proud to report that she tipped the scale at 18.7 pounds! She’s the heaviest of her five orphanage “sisters.” The doctor in the medical/surgical room said Ellie has bronchitis. We began giving her antibiotics (amoxicillin from the Waukegan Target) on Friday as we suspected she’d come down with whatever it is Caroline caught. Other than that, she got a clean bill of health.

Finished with the medical exam, we walked off the island to the Peace Spice Market on the mainland part of Guangzhou. I’ll use the word spice market loosely; didn’t see too many spices, mostly dried seahorses, gutted, stretched and sun-dried frogs, something that looked liked shriveled bats and giant fungi. It was all very interesting…but a little dab will do ya!

After Ellie’s two hour nap, we went back downtown to the pedestrian shopping mall with our CHI group. We’d missed some of the stores when we were there yesterday, mostly the jade market. Apparently jade is all the rage in China because it’s everywhere, almost to the point of sensory overload.

We bought Ellie a traditional silk Chinese dress. It’s adorable! When we got back to the hotel, we attempted to have her try it on. All I can say is in the attempt, she was slipping and sliding all over and we were laughing so hard we couldn’t get it all the way on.

The day concluded with a dinner cruise on the Pearl River. Dinner consisted to Papa John’s Pizza that most of the families had delivered right to the river boat. The river boat did offer a buffet, but our guides said it was marginal. The cruise also offered free “box lunches.” This free lunch consisted of white rice and assorted boiled fish and animal parts. Nasty!

The best part of the river cruise was talking with many of the families who went to different provinces than Jiangxi. Everyone’s story is different and at a certain level each is the same; the arduous paperwork process, the excruciating wait, the surreal nature of hearing your name called and having someone hand you your baby, the overwhelming joy and endless love.

Tomorrow all our paper work goes to the American Consulate Generals office for approval.

Event and quote of the day: In the realm of “you can’t make this stuff up”…the three of us got on an elevator at 5:15 p.m. and were heading down to meet our group of the river cruise. In the elevator was another couple with two children, one of whom had just been adopted. The woman looked at Caroline and asked, “have we met before, you look so familiar to me.” Caroline shook her head saying, “No, I don’t think we’ve met before.” The other woman said, “are you sure…maybe in Chicago…I’m Ann and this is Kevin.” At this point Caroline, cries out, “Ann!” Ann and Kevin are members of the church we used to serve in Naperville. They were just becoming members as we preparing to accept the call to St. Paul’s. Once we all remembered one another and how we knew each other, Kevin cried out, “Pastor Brad and Pastor Caroline! I can’t believe it’s you…you look so different.” (Could it be the 19 pound baby attached to me!)

We've had Ellie for a week!

June 8, 2008
We arrived in Guangzhou yesterday afternoon after a less than pleasant flight. Ellie came down with a cold and she was quite congested. We were worried about the change in pressure and the sensitivity on her ear. Our pediatrician told us to give Ellie a bottle of something to drink during take-off and landing; the sucking helps equalize the ears. We did this on take-off and it worked. Unfortunately, Ellie had a bottle at the airport, too, so we didn’t have anything for the descent. As the plane started down and the pressure began to change, without any kind of build up, Ellie began screaming and crying at the top of her lungs. Yes, we’d become “that family;” the one we’ve all murmured about on any given flight whose child(ren) scream during the whole flight. I felt so bad for Ellie; she was in such pain. The only thing I could do was hold her tightly to my chest.

When we arrived at the White Swan Hotel, we began to run into the other 10 families who were part of our travel group in Beijing, but went to different provinces to get their babies. It was great seeing everyone’s child and hearing other parents tell their “gotcha day” stories. I believe that our Jiangxi Province group is the only one whose “gotcha day” was last Sunday. The rest had to wait until Monday.

After Ellie’s morning nap we took a cab to the pedestrian zone and walked around for a few hours. Just as we were getting ready to head back to the hotel at mid-afternoon monsoon like storm swept through downtown Guangzhou. We found sanctuary in the entry way of the jade market. The rain came down in buckets and we were so unprepared; no umbrella, no rain coats, no hats. It poured non-stop for 20 minutes. As we were under some time pressure to get back to the hotel for a meeting, when the rain let up a bit we made a break for the taxi stand…as did many others. It was a no-holds-barred-every-person-for-themselves event. People would run with a taxi until it stopped to let its fare out. People would cut people off in line. We were doing our best to keep up, be cultural yet considerate all the while, it began to rain harder. A young woman standing near us had an umbrella and she came over to cover Ellie. Then she called out to two other young women standing in the street, also waiting for a cab. What the woman with the umbrella over Ellie had done was ask the other two to help her get us a cab before they got a cab. It was so sweet.

It’s just 5:00 p.m. We’ve had Ellie for one whole week. There are times when I look at her and the whole past week (and the last three years) seems surreal; when am I going to wake up back into my reality. Yet, at other times, I look at Ellie and experience this feeling that she’s always been a part of our lives. Walking down the pedestrian zone this afternoon, Caroline said to me, “Can you imagine how differently our lives would have turned out if we hadn’t found each other? I wouldn’t ski and you wouldn’t travel and we wouldn’t have Ellie.” I for one, am grateful that we did!

Horrible Day

Today, one of the families in our group had to endure the pain of terminating their adoption (had to give their child back to the orphanage) due to circumstances beyond their control. Please pray for Julie and Hutch.

June 5, 2008 (late afternoon)

After a nice nap, we’re heading down to the play room for a little family time. Ellie had her mid afternoon snack, a bottle of formula. She is a chow-hound! She squeals when she sees the bottle being prepared; we can’t seem to make it fast enough. Lunch and dinner, she’s a moving target and we shovel the carrots, peas, tomatoes, and fish baby food in as fast as we can.

She's become somewhat of a spectacle when we’re out in public. People will walk up to the three of us, look at Ellie and then grab her little thighs, say something and walk away. We asked our guide about this. Mary told us that it’s really a sign of affection; in China, a mark of a healthy baby is chubby thighs and a chubby face.

Quote of the Day: Caroline walked down to Elsie’s room to ask if laundry had been picked up for the day. She had Ellie with her. Seeing Ellie, Elsie, said to her, “You have a big belly like Daddy. But don’t worry, just for now.”